Archive:VOCJ54 Proof

Intro

Please look for any problems and list them in the category below (with name of article, page number, and the problem) so they can be fixed. They will be crossed off as they are fixed. If there's time, I'll send out another proof - likely Tuesday sometime.

The deadline to send this to the printer is Wednesday MORNING.

Suggestions of what to look for

Style Edits

• Long dashes should be used to separate phrases. Flag any short dashes.
• Double quotes are used to indicate conversation or colloquial speech; single quotes indicate definitions. Flag any inappropriate quotation marks.
• Distances are indicated by the number, a space, then the unit (i.e., 400 m, rather than 400m). Flag any un-spaced distances.
• Periods are followed by a single space. Flag any double spaces.
• People should be identified by their full names at least once during an article. Flag any anonymous people.

Grammar and Spelling Edits

• Look for run-on sentences and other grammar problems. Flag any you see.
• 'Prusik' is the proper spelling. Flag any wrong ones.

Photos

• Each photo should have rounded corners. Flag square corners.
• Each photo should have two captions indicating what is happening and who is involved (below), and the photographer (right). Flag any missing or bad captions.
• Photos should be reasonably 'legible'. Flag any bad photos that don't add to the story or the journal.
• Photos should have decent spacing to separate them from the surrounding text. Flag any photos that are too close to the article text.
• Locations should make sense. Flag any photos that are in a weird spot.

Spacing and font

• Every article should begin with a dropped letter. Flag articles missing a dropped letter at the start.
• Every article should end with a diamond character. Flag missing diamond characters.
• Some paragraphs have a dropped letter to break up the page a bit; these should be located at fairly natural spots (the start of a new thought, a new day, etc). Flag any unnatural dropped letters.
• Fonts should be consistent! There is a font for the body, a font for the title/subtitle/author, a font for captions, and a font for the photographer. Flag any wrong fonts.
• Empty pages! There shouldn't be any.
• Empty lines at the top of pages! There shouldn't be any.

Organization

• Are articles in the appropriate category?
• Are articles in a good order?

Table of Contents

• Every article, in order, correct page, correct title/author.

Last-minute edits

List 'em here!

• FIXED - fully alcoholic traverse runs over by one word.
• FIXED - Wenatchee epilogue is before picture, should be after (author's specification).
• FIXED - A Folk Storm on the Horizon has an expedition journal entry title split from its text.
• FIXED - A F S On The Horizon needs consistent superscripts of 1st, 4th, etc.
• FIXED - 25 things.... 223 g split across lines
• FIXED - p. 14 caption: 'Middle' -> 'Bottom' (or similar? seems like for two photos there is a top and bottom and not top and middle. Unless you include the photo below that caption, but it should be clear that this caption only describes what is above it)
• p. 49 room for a photo?
• FIXED - p. 91 and 92: caption: Sioula --> Siula (was already corrected in most of text but not in caption)
• FIXED - p. 161, line 5: Sioula Grande -> Siula Grande
• FIXED - p. 167, caption, how about "Ron Koczaka on rappel one of ten, 700m of air between our legs.". This is more consistent with other captions in the journal than having the subject in parenthesis, I think.
• p. 169 at the bottom there's a line in the text and a caption for a photo that's not there (sorry for the extreme last minute)
  • last minute is fine! It's ok - it's a footnote, not a photo caption.
  • FIXED - Maybe a small space between the line and the text above it would solve the problem? It kind of looks like the line for the footnote is an underline.
• FIXED - p. 169, title and TOC entry for this article: shouldn't it be either "New Year's" or "New Year" but not "New Years" - "New Years" appears to be a plural.
• FIXED - p. 214, caption, remove the word "the" before Herman Saddle.
• FIXED - p. 225 top caption, second row, "ove rthe" --> "over the"
• FIXED - p. 228 is it possible to stop the footnote from spreading across two pages? This seems unnecessary since one could probably compensate by moving a row of text over, no?
• FIXED - p. 247 caption, isn't the space between the caption and photo smaller than for other photos? Also p. 252
• FIXED (To VOCer) - Do we care that most of the time we use "VOCer" but a few times we use "VOC'er"? If so, it appears on pages 419, 437, 438
• FIXED - p. 366, line 10, last names missing on first mention: Charlie -> Charlie Beard, Craig -> Craig Alfredson, Anne -> Anne Vialettes
• FIXED - p. 367, ~line 11 from end, Joanna --> Joanna Barnet. Christina and Fuzz don't have a last name. Emailed Caitlin and Fiona to see if we can get an answer within 20 minutes, if not, definitely not critical...
• p. 367, line 10, 2 --> two
• FIXED - p. 367, line 10 from end, according to Caitlin, Eric --> Erich (last name unknown, otherwise should appear here).
• FIXED - p. 368, caption, padddlers --> paddlers
• FIXED (wasn't done) - t. 399, missing photo, and missing caption below, probably this is the photo and caption you mentioned as missing?
• FIXED (wasn't done) - t. 400, missing photographer. Do we really need so many question marks in the bottom caption? Seems excessive.
• p. 408: room for a photo, if there's time to get one. Not critical.
• FIXED - p. 430: item 13, spaces after slashes should probably be removed to agree with item 10 and popular conventions.
• FIXED - p. 431: item 24, is it possible that there is a space before the T or something of the sort? It looks to me like it's not aligned with the row underneath (and the 'T' touches the 'h').
• FIXED - p. 431: item 25, possibly Jess -> Jessica
• FIXED - An idea regarding the TOC, feel free to ignore it because you don't agree, or there's no time or whatever: for TOC entries that have more than one line, the name is often broken into two lines. In these cases the name with the shape before it could be moved down without having to use an additional line, thereby avoiding breaking the name into two. It would look like the entry for page 404 (Ignacio's article), which seems better to me.

Old edits

DO NOT LIST ANYTHING BELOW.

List errors, comments & suggestions here

List the page number, the article, and the error, under the appropriate section.

example: p.7, President's Message: Katherine's name is spelled 'Kathewilehtklhetkle.' It should be 'Katherine.'

General/Global

• The first page of each section shows just the title. To me (Gili) it feels like a bit of a waste of space in such a long journal. If this is to be changed (and it doesn't have to be), I see (at least) two options: 1. Make the section title and first article for that section on the same page (would that be too cluttered? confusing?). 2. Have something additional on the first section page: a photo (colour?) or perhaps a quotation? Just some ideas.
  • It's not done yet. Colour photos, covers of sections, and exec photos are not finished yet. see next version. All cover pages (i.e. pages of each section) will be colour photos. See [[1]] ;)
• If we were looking to save some space, one way to do it would be to make the space between the title and the text of each article smaller - it is rather large right now.
• Many (or all?!) of the photos appear fuzzy when zoomed in. Perhaps this is the same thing that happened last year? There was some box that needed to be checked, something like "Include photos in full resolution" or something of the sort (check with Kathrin).
  • All photos are full-res, linked, and good to go. I just uploaded the incredibly low-res pdf. The full version is ridiculously large and could not have been sent over email or uploaded to google docs. -k.
• Did u intentionally want the journal to not be justified?
  • ? What do you mean? -k.
  • The draft is left justified - all the lines of text "line up" on the left hand side. Often (always?) books (and the VOCJ in particular) are full justified.
  • Good catch! Didn't even cross my mind. Full-justified for the next version.
• Dropped letters in articles: Do these need flagging? They appear to be a section break, perhaps a space between those paragraphs should be added.
  • They are intended to show a bit of a section break without adding an extra space. If it looks bad then I can go back to extra spaces, but that will require quite a lot of rearranging so let's only do that if we really think it's necessary. More votes, anyone? -k.
  • I think they are good as-is, just wanted to check. - Alfred

Table of Contents and Starting Material

• p. 2 of pdf - (very minor) four lines from end: perhaps no period is needed in list of "Proofreaders and text editors", since there is no period for the other lists of people.
• p. 5 of pdf - middle of page, line that starts with "47": "Lilloet" should be "Lillooet", also in title of article on page 47.
• p. 7 of pdf - Do we have a consistent choice of capitalization for titles in the TOC? In particular, shouldn't "385 - Dispatches from the Frontlines of Etiquette" have a capitalized "from" and shouldn't "395 - 25 Things the VOC has Taught Me" have a capitalized "has"? The rest look fine.
  • I don't think so. to, from, has, in, for... I don't think any of these should be capitalized? Although I'm going on intuition rather than a rule... -k.
• p. 5 line 3 - "Ms. Manner's" - shouldn't this be "Ms. Manners'"? As in, "of Ms. Manners", after all, I think she is Ms. Manners and not Ms. Manner.
• p. 7 top: Jeff Taylor's photo seems darker than all the rest, it might be tough to see. This might be a pain in the ass to change...
  • Kelly can't change this. If someone else wants to change and send me a better copy, go ahead... Lee = photo wizard.
• p. 7 middle and bottom: is it possible to move the job names (on the right of each photo) so that they do not run out of the photo frame? This is relevant for all three bottom photos, Lee, Brody and Fisal.
  • this is all getting fixed - exec pages aren't polished yet. The fix is kind of ugly though, so I'd like feedback on the next version. Need to be spaced out a bit better too...
• Remove dates from titles in TOC and also in the articles themselves. It doesn't matter when exactly most trips happened. (Gili suggested this, but Veenstra disagrees strongly. Maybe from the TOC for style reasons, but having the date the trip happened is exceedingly useful if you're ever trying to use old VOCJs to help with trip planning, as I've done many times, or if any historian ever looks at the journal trying to work out historic weather patterns etc. It would be a real shame to remove such useful information because we don't like the formatting. Probably those 20 characters have the highest utility of any in the whole article. You could replace it with "3rd week in May" or something, but that probably looks even worse.) Gili: most articles don't have this information in the title, so it looks weird in the TOC, perhaps keep for the titles but not TOC.
  • Kept for titles, removed for TOC. -k.
• Is there a way to put a page number for the photo contest without it looking out of place compared to the format?
  • I'll play around with it. I agree, it would be good to have. Maybe a list of the winners in each category and their page numbers can go in the TOC under the heading? -k.

Hiking and Scrambling

• p 26 says: cooked and early dinner. --> cooked an early dinner
• p 30 says: a exposed mossy --> an exposed mossy
• p 30 says: quick few summit shots --> few quick summit shots
• p47-48 should not hyphenate Piotr's; it looks strange
• p 52 says: when we arrived to the --> when we arrived at the
• p 63 says: Line bumped had into --> Line had bumped into
• p. 63 How about condensing the four paragraphs coming after the first paragraph into one? The frequent paragraph breaks create a headache and don't add much, in my opinion (Gili). condensed two of them, but i think the two other breaks add emphasis on the fact that the rat is still there.
• p. 71 top photo: possibly Tom --> Tom Curran, we seem to mostly (always?) put full names in photo captions. yep, always. i tried to, at least. -k.
• p 73 The fourth sentence of the article is an incomplete sentence. It should read, the young ARE spiralling down... And the semi-colon should just be a comma.
• p 74 Sentence one: devour should be changed to devoured. nope

Climbing and Mountaineering

• p97 --> there is a steep notch
• p110 the capital I at the beginning of the first new paragraph looks weird (to me - Gili). Perhaps a slightly bigger space on the right of it would help, I'm not sure.
• p114 says: if i had fallen--> if I had fallen
• p115 Is our policy to have full names in caption? If so, Artem -> Artem Bylinskii and in other photos in this same article.
• p 132, line 7: Ron -> Ron Koczaja, full name should appear on first mention.
  • Skyler says: I'd really rather his full name stay where is (later in the story). This was carefully thought out to best build the story. Conventions are useful, but this is not a science journal, it's about story telling.
  • Yep, agreed. It's in there, which is good enough I think. -k.
• p 143. four lines from bottom. Mistake in Spanish: when asking a question it should be "Por que escalas?" and not "Porque escalas" ("por que?" is "why?" and "porque" is because). In addition, there should be an accent on the last letter of the e in "que". If we want to be really correct, then there should also be an upside down question mark at the beginning of the question, as for all questions in Spanish.
  • changed to Por que with the accent. no question mark though...

Skiing and Winter Mountaineering

• p 145. "On snowshoes and skate shoes was all that they had." - maybe add a dash after skate shoes? Or "[...]and skate shoes - t'was all that they had."
• p 145. perhaps add a footnote with the full names? Ignacio Rozada, Pascale Cometto, Evgeny Sorkin, and Murray Down. good idea.
• p 147, first bullet: 7 -> "seven"
• p 148, line 14. "our boots. We then"; current version needs full stop and space.
• p 148-149 - Could the footnote spanning both pages be located entirely on pg 148?
• p 149, line 11 - there are two periods instead of one.
• p 148 last line and p 149 last line: do we really need the underline here? They look out of place. they go before the footnote to separate it from the text. no? i can erase them if we want.
• P 157 What's a Switchback?? - Could we remove the double question mark? (Also in TOC).
• p 160 Dark photo? at least so it appears to me. fixed. Lee is a wizard.
• p 161 first line Dec -> December
• p 161 second line, (minor) the word "off" appears weird on my display, the two f's are touching. Can anything be done about this?
  • don't think so. left it.
• p 162&168: Photo credit: Ran Zhang, with an H in Zhang.
• p 165, line 9 - remove 'would'.
• p 170, line 8 from the bottom - 'skinning' instead if 'skiing'?
• p 173, line 10 from the bottom - down 'to' the logging road, not 'at'.
• p 174, last sentence of article. How about "If Marcin hadn’t been able to walk, it would have been too late to be evacuated that day - we had been at least seven

hours away from cell phone reception." (?)

• p 176-177. Black Tusk and Cinder Cone via Helm Creek: Any way we could slightly reduce the font size of the poem in the middle so it fits on lines nicely?
• p 178 - end of para 2. Incomplete sentence.
  • ?????? Can't find this. More info please.
• p 180, line 5 - change comma to '-'.
• p 180, line 6 - 1AM instead of 1am. And 2AM instead of 2 am, later same paragraph.
• p 182, remove comma(s) in first sentence of para.
• p 182, last para, repetition of 'run' in sentence. "[...] for a few more turns." (?)
• p 200, top photo's caption: "Nat." is an awfully short and non-descriptive caption. Maybe at least "Natalie Stafl"? or "Natalie Stafl eating some snow" or something like that. Some of the captions in this article have "Nat" and some "Natalie". Perhaps better to go with "Natalie"? I think we usually use real names and not nicknames (but maybe I'm wrong).
  • changed all Nats to Natalies - this article has photos kind of 'embedded' in the article so I left stylized captions as they were submitted.
• p 205, line 6. To be closer to the truth - "Piotr's entire binding was moving relative to his ski (something that ...)" Two out of the four screws had sheared completely. Beginning of next para: "the ski could not be fixed in a fashion worthy of its newness, we promptly opted to have an easy ski day"
• p 205, para 2, line 11 - 'tested' to 'test'
• p 206, line 10 - 'o' to 'of' or ' o' '
• p 206, line 18 - remove 'the' from highway 99
• p 206, line 24 - and 'that' he would drive them (?)
• p 207, line 12 - something strange about the spacing in " she'd "
• p 209 mistake in author's name, Cathrine -> Catherine (at least according to the members' list). This is possibly also wrong in the TOC. wrong in the member's list, actually - I wasn't sure either so I double-checked with Cathrine.
• p 213, title - how about removing the "Of" at the beginning? It seems totally unnecessary to me (Gili). This would also affect the TOC and the footnote on page 216.
• p 214, caption - "Who are we missing? wonder Julia...". Perhaps there should be double quotes around the first four words? Capital w in "wonder"? Also, there is no such thing as "in Diamond Head" (as far as I know, it is the name of a peak, and they didn't go there), these three words should be removed. Possibly the "Garibaldi Park" is a no brainer as well, we don't usually mention the park if it is a popular destination (I think).
• p 215, line 1: "at High Point" should be "at the high point" (no caps, "the" added)
• p 215,footnote: the page number is wrong, 213 -> 216. Should be linked to automatically update if layout is changed? (I assume this is how it works)yep, it's a link.. I forgot to re-update them before making the pdf. good catch!
• p 217, 9th line in last paragraph, SAR --> SAR (Search and Rescue), acronyms should be defined defined it at first instance in article.

Land and Water

• p 282, caption, and second to last line: "Jutias" should have an accent on the i (sorry, my mistake - Gili).
• p 296, it would be nice, perhaps, if the quote from the song did not run away at the bottom. Same issue as with Murray's poem, perhaps a change of font size, or moving the whole thing left. Not critical though. font smaller
• p 306 - I can barely make out the photo. Perhaps this is the point, but if it was a bit lighter, maybe the person would be easier to see and the background would still remain dark (showing the darkness of the cave).
• p 325, line 6 - remove one of the "at"s.. (?)
• p 328 caption: perhaps, "Happiness, poured" --> "Poured happiness"
• p 332. Is the font on this page 100% the same as elsewhere? Does the graphic need a black square around it? Piotr would (personally) prefer it without...
• p 336. No colon after "Renfrew and the West Coast Trail" tomatch other subtitles
• p 336. At least first reference of Renfrew should be changed to Port Renfrew, if not all mention of Port Renfrew (its actual name). Especially the subtitle on this page.

Club Life and Reflections

• pg 393, missing Oxford comma, 4th paragraph, "Goretex, down sleeping bags, and light tents..."
• pg 396-397, items 10-17 - the rows below the first row for each item should be aligned (left justified) with the first row. This appears to be correct for the previous and next items, but not for items 10-17. good catch!!
• pg 397, item 20 should have quotation after period after ski; item 25 has extra comma after year
• pg 398, item 1 has extra space between regular/irregular
• pg 398, item 4 heading is all capitals (is this intended?)
  • yes, this is what was submitted.
• pg 401, item 8 could be all italicized to match previous headings
• pg 403, 5 lines from bottom has an extra apostrophe after backs no, but used double quotes to make it clearer.
• pg 404, bottom line looks like ', and should be ,'

• pg 408, mountaineering camp section, VOCers stood on all those peaks on Saturday not Sunday

*pg 407, bump Son of Rock heading to next page, pg 409, bump Jared Stanley heading to next page, pg 411, again CAC Fundraiser bump to next page (maybe fixed from above?)

• pg 413, 2nd line from bottom has beer capitalized